holy shit i finally got this working to an extent. FOREVER thanking frankie for looking over my code and figuring out what i mess up :D

now that i have this working, i really do want to use it... so here we are! i started this entire process at work inspired by my frind and coworker, frankie. i'll link thier blog here at some point i swear. i am nowhere near even intermediate at html and css, but getting to design and teach myself based on some of the amazing resources i've found

now onto the actual unfiltered bullshit in my brain

when i really think about it, living on autopilot is so damn easy.not to say where i am now isn't an improvement from how i was, it's just different. toward the beginning of the year, i sought psychiatric help for the first time in longer than i can actually remember. over the years it became a robotic routine. wake up,water, pills. second nature was what was keping me alive, right?

on meeting my psychiatrist, she quickly told me she thought it was best i came off my current medication and began a new one. effexor has some of the worst withdrawl symptoms of the many antidepressants out there, which i had already been familiar with. i knew it was my only choice, i just had to try over. factory reset. almost. so every month i go to the pharmacy and see the workers i call friends in my mind, and they see the girl going medication to medication, desperate to stop hanging on and finally start living.

getting to watch a new campaign of critical role feels so cathartic. it's silly how much i've grown to love this live play TTRPG. in the past 2 years i have held so tightly to these stories in the purest form of escapism. i don't have anyone to talk to about critical role or d20 so i'll probably have a lot to say lol. everything worked out so well that im free thursday nights, i never caught up on c3 so this is my first time watching live. its coming back now so i must be going.